Best Lover I’ve Ever Had!

Space, I've been wanting you for a while now. Praying for the day I could actually take a deep breath without feeling the need to hold it all in.

Space you feel like a foreign invader at times. Like I just don't know what to do with you. Sometimes I feel guilty for having you around. Maybe I should hide you so no one sees. I think I want to hide you because I don't even know if I even feel I deserve to have you around. You're just too good to me. Like the best boyfriend I could have. You've given me what I've wanted for so long. 

During the height of my divorce, I never thought I would see you again. I thought as though my time would be filled to the brim with knowing where to go. That was a scary time. One of the scariest of my life. I felt so alone, I remember wondering if I would ever make it through. Could I live through the excruciating pain of this? 

I needed Space, oh I was so desperately asking and praying for it.

But my business filled so much of my time and energy, my kids needed me and I just kept myself busy because I think there were parts of me that felt unworthy of Space, of time, of breathing room.

Even now I find I am enjoying myself so much basking in the sun, enjoying long sips of coffee, getting lost in a movie, playing football with my kids, long walks on the trails with my girlfriends, and slow mornings with my partner.

Can life really be this full and wonderful?

How have I been missing out for so long?

Always going going going. I didn't know how to stop. I felt as though if I stopped everything would crumble. I always had to be available to my staff, to my clients, to my customers. 

But then space was calling me louder than any other, like a lover in the night. “Please, my love slow down” It was the wooing of my heart that drew me in.

So I shifted. I closed one of my business for Space. I changed everything to make room for him. And I am so glad I did. 

Don't get me wrong it’s been a process to welcome this new relationship with Space. I had a lot of resistance to it in the beginning. I had to move through the unworthiness and self judgment that came peering in with a nasty voice. But Space and I won that internal fight after I gave some lovin’ to those scared parts of myself.

Sometimes you have to create space and let the old ways of being full die, like fully, to see what wants to emerge. To be with the questions. To write out the vision and get clear on purpose. Those things won't happen if busyness is the name of the game. And if you aren't the owner of your time.

Space is the best lover I've ever had and I'm so glad I listen to his call. It's made me see and get clear on the things I was desiring, but only because of the huge pivot I got to make and saying goodbye to my previous ways... With a funeral, goodbye letter, and all.

Boy, I am grateful for the old version, but also so ready for the brand spanking new one that is in the process of forming. She's looking good, confident, powerful, and ready.

No one could have given me space, I had to choose him. I had to make room for him to come in and swoon me with his love.

I knew that if I wanted to change my reality I had to make a drastic move in that direction and space has shown me the way.

If you are desperate for a different reality you have to choose another way of being for another outcome to unfold. 

What is the "Space" that you've been yearning for in your life? What changes can you make to choose yourself?

Remember, the journey begins with a single step, and the path to a more fulfilling, balanced life is within your reach. I can feel it.